there is a scream in my heart, and I sense jealously within. I know very well, somehow I haven't fully let go of the past. Oh my, this is bad, if I continue to allow it to dwell in me, I can never grow to love people unconditionally and grow to be more like Christ. I truly really want to like, get out of this issue, and really accept Randall and Lennon. Well, I know very well most of the time I am blaming Randall.. Such as, why is she like still sticking around with him since after what the both of them has done. Like so despicable, flirtatious, and etc. And I continue to let this jealousy go further into hatred, anger and even bitterness. I will describe her as somebody who fake herself, even doing the personality test in such a way that it is just not her, it's just what she wants to be. Oh great, now how am I going to get out of this. Sometimes I just want to be a friend with her, resume those times in the beginning where we used to be so close and hug each other to tears. But now I just can't seem to regain back our friendship. And I know it is me, there's something blocking in me.

God please like help me to get rid of my jealousy. it's just so so bad. And I don't want to be like that. Please.