confession.

Confess my sins.
Confess my bitterness.

I am still bitter and embarrassed to face her.
Though I somehow speaks to her.
But its all for surface show.
I still cant look at her straight in the eyes, and talk to her like normal.
I may be jokin, and laughin.
And speakin.

But nothing is RIGHT AT ALL in my heart.
You know it God.
You know it all.
ANd I believe you know I never purposely let this thing continue to be in this way.
I do want it to go away.
Just that im struggling.
I do not know how to get out of this maze.
Perhaps clarifying it with lennon will do the job.
Let's just see how it goes when I meet up with him and talk it out.

Hmmm.
Days been pretty great.
I been pretty slack as well.
Confess my laziness. My procrastination.
Despite my acts, you still blesses me. I feel really blissful.
Thank you God.
Give all my praises to you.
But I know I can't just continue to take your blessings for granted.
I need to stand up, and do something.
Then will the people who are following me, do the right thing too.

I cant just tell them, Come on, we need to persevere and must not slack off!
And there I am, slacking.
I must be a good model for them.
Help me to be one.
Father discipline me.
Give me the tough rebukes, and scoldings.
Im willing to take them up.
Because I know the fruits you prepare are sweet.

And the harvest.
Im eager to reap from them.
I know it has not ended.
And I know too that it have started.
I must begin my reaping if not the harvest will be gone in no time.
I must not continue in my slackened life like now.
God show me what to do, to rely on you for the reaping of this harvest.
I want to witness conversion.
I want to witness growth.
I want to witness reconciliation.
I want to witness life transformation.
I want to witness team work.
MORE MORE MORE I ask from you.

And I ask one thing from you.
Make me the PERSON you want me to be.
Send me, and I will go.
Really, and seriously, and truefully.

I want to serve you to the ends of the earth.
I want to go far for you.

PLEASE LORD.
PLEASE.
GIVE ME THE CHANCE.