My Prayers.

I just want to take this time GOd, to say a little prayer to you..
Perhaps it may not be little,
it may be pretty long.. But I guess, nothing is too much for you.
The more the merrier yeah?

Before I proceed on to anything..
I just want to give thanks to you.
Give thanks to you for standing by my side in those tough times that I went through recently.
I know you are there. I know you were right beside me.
Sending your guardian angel to protect me, and comfort my soul.
SO long I seek you, I will find you. If I ask of you, you will reveal to me.

It was really very painful back then... Having to cope with all those feelings alone.
But then I realise, Im not alone facing all these.
My tears and sorrows, you knew it. When I cry, you're the first one that saw it.
And only you can see my first tears. Because they are right in my heart.
How can anything be measure against the love you have for me?
How can anyone be able to understand me any better except you my Lord? My friend?
This thanks I have in my heart can never stop...
And Lord Im very afraid that ever will there be a day I'll turn my back away from you and say I hate you, and won't give thanks to you..
I pray hard nothing like that will happen, because I really want to thank you for all my days.

Father I just want to pray and offer my sins to you.
I actually surf websites that are horribly bad and disgusting recently on one particular day.
I just could not control myself.
Horrible me. I will never do it again. But I can't trust myself.
Father, i do not deny but I admit, this sin my mine. My lust, my guilt.
I ask of your forgiveness for this behaviour of mine,
that is utterly sinful. Lord, will you forgive me?

And Lord... Im a thief.
Im always a thief.
I steal things. recently I just took my father's vouchers without saying anything.
Im going to face the consequences of my actions soon.
For once vincent is back, He's going to check the vouchers,
to go for dinner as a family,
and then they will discover something missing.
and they will just know it is me.
Father Im panicking.
Why did I sin when in the first place I know all this will happen?
My goodness... Lord what should I do?
I am disgusting. Trying to get my coreteams to thank me by treating them,
but in fact i took something that doesnt belongs to me. What can I do?

Father.. this is a horrible sin.. Im a horrible human. Horrible servant of yours.
Lord willyou forgive me for this?
I dun admit just for the sake of admitting so you can forgive me..
Because Lord I really want to change..
There's no excuse such as I can't control.
It is just me who did not learn hard and have that determination.
It is my fault and my problem.
Lord will you please give me a chance?
So I can be transform in this bad attitude and habit of mine?

And not to say about this hatred in me...
It has always been building, building.
I hated randall I guess.
But yet I love her still.
Its just so complicated, Lord seems like only you understand?
Because even me, I can't seems to be able to understand why..
She often seems so loving, but I dun really sense it.
I can see comfortable lines and encouraging words,
but I just dun see any depth.
I can see that she's trying hard and appearing well,
but dunno why perhaps got to do with my harden heart I just felt she's putting a show.
What do I do Lord?
Is my instincts right?
Or am I simply biased.
Tell me God, please reveal to me. I am really irritated by this issue because it keeps pulling me down. I want to know so I can serve faithfully and with no hindrance in your kingdom.

Lord,
I offer my sins to you.
I commit my awful habits to you.
Nothing will stop me.
Nothing will hinder me.
Lord I repent to you with all my heart,
Please Lord hear this repentance!
Hear this prayer for your forgiveness!
Please God give this sinner's a chance to repent... and to serve you once again.
Lord I dun want to take your forgiveness for granted.
But Lord My heart really beats faithfully for you. I really want to serve.
Though sometimes I wonder whether is it because there's no where else for me to serve,
but I think.. it is really not about the benefits for me.
staying doesn't really benefit me anyway if I dun believe in you.
Doing things is only a blockage if I do not believe in you.
Thus Lord, please....... forgive me... So May I be able to serve you with no regrets and hindrance.

Father....
I want to pray for my relationship with thomas..
Apparently, it is getting worst.
I do not know why, but Lord, I do get irritated and angered by Him.
His behaviours are simply disgusting to me.
I do not know why.
I felt He is doing alot of things that should not be done.
Previously, I tolerated with Him.
Now, Im rebuking HIm. And I guess it is provoking him.
we end up easily in quarrels too.
Not that I raise my voice or what, but apparently,
everything seems to stir him up nowadays.
quite plenty are his victims.
Sometimes I know he have good intentions,
but sometimes I jus can't stand his behaviours.
His ego are knocking against my pride too.
Tell me God, should I swallow my pride, and nicely treat Him,
or should I rebuke Him, and tell Him what is he doing wrong?
BUt anyway..
Lord I just want to pray that you will unlock the tangles in his heart..
I pray that Lord you will give Him the answers for the confusion in him..
That Lord you will release him from his distress,
and help him to be able to put his focus on GOD, YOU.

I just want to pray for the victims..
peiyi and pooiyee.. and perhaps some more which im not aware..
myself also..
that we will stay focus on your kingdom,
and be encouraged by your love,
not to be disturbed by his discouragement and words.

And I want to pray for peiyi too..
that Lord Im not sure what's wrong with her,
but there's something wrong definitely.
She seems to be in deep thoughts and I can sense hurting spirit in her.
Father I just pray for your healing power to be upon on,
and that Lord you'll cure her from these pain.
I just want to pray that Lord you'll help her in her studies,
so she wun be so stress up with everything.
Pray that Lord you'll help her to open up herself too,
so she will not be troubled with all the tots she keep inside herself.

I just want to pray for the new leaders..
santono and baorun..
Pray that Lord you will anoint them with your spiritual authority,
pray that Lord you will equipped them with the necessary leadership skills they need.
Father they are young and new,
but with your strengthening and power they shall be great.
I just pray Lord that in this time they just started their leadership journey,
you will pour abundantly your encouragement so they will not give up easily.
That Lord you will soften the hearts of their coreteams,
so they will support these new leaders with all their heart.
I pray for submission of these CT to them,
so that they will be able to lead the CG well from glory to glory.

pray particularly for santono,
that Lord you'll relieve him from the worries...
and the thoughts.. because he is a deep thinker..
But rather help him to put his focus on you,
and yes to magnify only you!
Let him see your strength, and not his weakness.

and for baorun,
I pray that she'll learn to depend on you more for supernatural empowerment.
that Lord you will help her to control her emotions too.
help her to make use of her emotions well to understand ppl,
be sensitive to people, than being emotional.

And hereby I pray for yanhan Lord,
that you'll heal her leg fully.
I pray for her in terms of her results,
I pray that she'll be able to get into the course that she wanted to,
and be able to excel in the course.
I pray that she'll be able to serve you greatly in your kingdom too,
no matter which unit she's going to be in.

Father lord.. I just want to pray for my great burden for my new group..
I am afraid a little about the people under me..
there are new coreteams.. very new ones..
and very strong ones..
but yet can be very problematic..
Father I just pray for your empowerment to make me a credible leader,
so that I can win their respect,
and so they can work well with my leadership in this creative team.
I pray that Lord you will pour upon your inspiration and creativity sparingly upon us,
so that we can invent more and more creative and effective ways to outreach,
and expand your kingdom, to share your word and stuffs.
Father I just pray for the new believers,
that our team can effectively reach out to them and connect to their souls.
I pray Lord that we can have a discerning heart from you,
so that we can be able to understand them better.
I pray too for the fringe members,
that they will be able to connect well with the new group,
and be able to grow well in their spirituality,
and thus,
move over to adults for some successfully.

I pray for the other caregroups to be blessed in your name,
so may they excel in what ever that they do.

Father I pray for jeremy kiu,
that Lord you will cure his soul and help him to find his path.
Help him to be able to control his emotions,
help him not to continue to dwell in that insaneness.
I pray Lord you will rebuke his behaviours,
so that he will be awake to face everything.

LORD...
Hear my soul, hear my cries.
I need revival,
i need your answers to all my prayers.
LORD!!!
Hear this shout, this loud and clear cry!
that Lord my soul belongs to you,
that Lord please transform my soul.. and make me the kind of person you created me to be!

PLEAse God..
hear me.. I know you heard me.. ANd Lord please... show me..
what that's going to happen soon..
I awaits.